English redaction

I needed to write some paragraphs to apply to a summer camp and I'll record a video pretty soon.
This is my redaction:
Hello everybody, My name is Margarita Tobon, I'm nineteen years old almost twenty, I'm from mexico and I'm studing creation and development of enterprises at Tecnologico de Monterrey.
The goal of this video is to let you know a little bit of my life.
About my family. I have two sisters, Guadalupe the younger and Alma, the older, who has a baby, a little boy named Oscar that I really love to spent time with.
My parents are Alma and Antonio. I just can see them on weekends because the university is so far from my hometown, so In Puebla I live with some friends. I consider myself quite responsible because living without your family implies a lot of things to do alone like housekeeping, go to the supermarket, wash your clothes etc. But I think this is good because this help to you to take decisions by yourself and to be independient.
About my degree. I really love my degree because when I'll finish it I'll have my own enterprise and that means to create jobs and by the way to contribute to my country development.
At Tec. In my college I attend 3 special activities that I do, independently of study.
GETEC. Grupo de emprendedores del Tecnológico de Monterrey. This is a scholar group where some entrepreneurs get together and plan, organize and execute interesting projects for all students inside and outside Tec. For example, last semester we organized a lecture series entitled “breaking paradigms” in the society, politics, environment and business in order to open the mind to new ideas and overcome the limits.
Volleyball. I have been practicing volleyball since high school and right now I’m in the university team. I’m the middle back, so my role is to pass and defend the middle and the back of the court.I love this sport because for me, volleyball symbolizes the freedom in movement.
Dance. This semester I took a work-shop, where we learn to dance salsa and cumbia. There are 3 levels: beginner, intermediate and advanced, and I'm in the intermediate.
Finally, I think I'm an adventurous girl who always seeks new challenges and new routes on this journey of life.

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